the elderly.

I don't have a problem with the senior citizens of today's society, but they frustrate me sometimes. And for the purposes of this post, by senior citizens i mean them plus all who share their mindsets. My econ professor brought something up this morning that got me thinking about this. He was talking about spending time with his older relatives talking about the economy, because thats basically what older relatives would do to exemplify their immense wisdom about society. That's all well and good up until the point that an issue like inflation or unemployment comes along and instead of listening to the guy with the doctorate in the room, they insist that all these problems are the result of CROOKS! NOTHING BUT CROOKS IN HIGH PLACES!..... okayy... you could totally ignore hundreds of years of economics and studies and go for your biased position because you just didn't pay attention while you were in school. i digress. so these people think that the world is going to hell in a handbasket. just like their parents and grandparents did. and probably the same way that we will. but I don't understand WHY. if everyone just thought logically (it's really, really not that hard) we wouldn't have screaming matches at christmas dinner over insane issues (jack.) that popped into one person's mind and they were drunk enough to bring it to light. and why does it always have to do with gays, retards, or money? seriously, at least find a good topic to scream about. like seal clubbing. it's an easy topic. there are two parties, those who are opposed and those who...enjoy seal clubbing. it can include heated debate but in the end everyone just realizes that the issue has the same effect as any other non-profit commercial- you care until you realize that it has nothing to do with you. then you dont care anymore. or you're just too smashed to realize how the conversation went from seal clubbing back to SURPRISE! THE RECESSION! many studies have confirmed that as one grows older, they tend to resist change in their environments because they're comfortable with the environment they've grown up with. well good for them. kinda sucks though because crap changes. if you can just accept that little fact, your life will be SO much easier. will we be upset in 50 years when we all travel in tubes? NO. BECAUSE THAT WILL BE AWESOME. (we'll ACCEPT that the future is awesome, and if we keep thinking that, it will be. even if it isn't. autosuggestion says so.)this tendency goes so far as turning people ignorant. example: at an open mic 2 nights ago, there was a group of SENIORS! called the "Singing Grannys" whose entire repertoire was composed of traditional tunes like row row row your boat, with political lyrics overlaid. they literally just talked about bringing the troops home and why business executives should be replaced. if they actually paid attention to what's happening in the world, neither of those statements would have been made. im not going into them. for the sake of the length of this post.

so how do we address this seemingly innate tendency of the human mind? I propose two solutions: mass suicides at the age of 65 (or 66 so one can enjoy the benefits of social security. unless that falls through. but THAT WILL BE OKAY cuz we'll figure it out. see? not that hard to move on) or...drumroll please... we keep open minds, accept changes in our environment, and possibly even contribute to society through helping to enact these changes? (insert gasp from audience) we'll be in the mental position to embrace changes in society and we won't be able to complain because we'll have had the opportunity to affect the process.

okay, this isnt perfect. it's 10:00 in the morning and class pretty much drained my cognitive capacity for a few hours. but THIS ISNT HARD. thats what she said.

My New (Lofty) Aspiration

I would love to design a site as hilarious as this one day.

http://pages.prodigy.net/jschla/

winter wonders

firT DAY OF SECOND SEMESYER

i got up at 7:00 relatively upset that i was conscious at this time of day. but im in the lecture hall now and my teacher is playing dave matthews with the lights dimmed. so its not that bad. im taking a three hour nap after this. yay new beginnings!

The Seven Pillars of Disnam

number one, i know prince of egypt is dreamworks. disnam is a principle, not a preferred selection. number two, lindy helped. THANKS LINDY

happy new years!...?

so i had a great new years and everyone had a great time...except the moment that i stopped feeling guilted into watching dick clark and then realized that he was doing a show with ryan seacrest as a partner and they could only find cripple 15 year olds to sing for them...okay thats being too mean. the kid was pretty good, but I was so annoyed after changing from channel to channel seeing nothing but the black eyed peas and rihanna (who was probably absolutely miserable). how could you wear an outfit like that? this is how jack and i decided the conversation went:

Scene: snowy stage in times square

Rihanna: "I'm gonna wear a belly shirt because that's what my fans want and i need to retain my image or else my fan base will deteriorate and i won't be famous or beautiful anymore"

Jay Z: sees that it's ten degrees and snowing outside. "I'm gonna wear a coat."

then there's ryan seacrest. apart from him being one of the last people i would want to be hosting the new year on television, he was talking CONSTANTLY. one of the best parts of the nights:

"I'm Ryan Seacrest thanking you for joining us ringing in th.."

Jack: "Go to hell."

so. some suggestions for next years' celebrations (as decided between the oracles ie jack and I)

1. jack white plays a part in every song

2. red hot chili peppers

3. ryan seacrest is nowhere to be found

4. black eyed peas do a maximum of 2 songs (theyre good, but they sung the equivalent of an album)

5. ESPN does something other than a massive jump (theyve done that 2 years in a row now)

6. dick clark is protrayed in a less guilt-ridden manner (every time i see him, I hear about his stroke problems. im like ok now i have to watch him. not out of humor because it's just kind of low to laugh at someone with SO MANY past issues, but out of just a sense of "okay he probably has a million doctors and every day pretty much is him teetering on the edge of becoming a vegetable"- again, i mean this in a nice way. BUT OKAY I DONT WANT TO BE GUILTED INTO WATCHING JUST ONE STATION. come to think of it, that's probably what ryan seacrest was for.

7. if ESPN does do another jump, find a less cracked/red-bulled up driver. then he won't slam it into the other side of the jump, claiming it was frossttt. if he was a REAL DRIVER, frost would melt upon him seeing it. thats what would happen to chuck norris and thats what should HAPPEN.

8. if the female who's on stage singing does not yet have breasts, get her off. like now.

9. after the millions of dollars that go into lighting times square, they should have some kind of countdown integration between all the screens. I would love to see the 10,9,8, etc. explode from the coca cola sign outward along the buildings. like pshwaaa...pshwaaa....pshwaa.... it would be awesome.

10. starting at the second of the new year, all the NYC cops should start doing a choreographed performance of "Celebration" by Kool & the Gang. like Reno except....better. rip off pants are required.

these are just a few suggestions. you know, just liven up the party a bit. of course, if I was in charge of new years, everyone would have taken dance lessons beforehand so we could have the worlds largest choreographed performance of thriller ever. EVER.