cars.

the human race needs to do a little introspection for fifteen minutes. lets think to ourselves: the one thing that a man can 1)call his own 2)demonstrate the product of his own effort with 3)establish his dominance with, and 4)get ladies with....is being mutilated and prostituted to the whims of so many people that there are so few companies that are left who still respect the ideaology of a car. Crash course (hah) in automobile loving:

1. a car must be beautiful inside and out. this doesn't always mean that the seats have to be made from the hide of a cow thats been fed a controlled diet inside a hermetically sealed ecodome for the majority of its adult life. this means that when you look at any given car, you should stop in your tracks because its a piece of art. take the lamborghini gallardo LP-570-4 superllegera for example:

if you saw this on the street, you had better hope you're walking because if it were me, I'd be landing in the back of the ford fiesta stopped at the light in front of me cuz i was staring. a car should flow from the front to back in a (pardon the descriptive narration) single stroke of the designer's brush. not even kidding. take a pencil and race it across a paper. now do it slowly. the slower line makes it look like you just developed a horrible case of parkinsons... when the companies try to make everything perfect for everyone to like and that everyone will go for, you end up sitting in a car and thinking "this is nothing new". If you've ever rented a car you definitely know what im talking about. nothing feels right. or comfortable. my dad had to get a loaner when the mustang was in the shop. it ended up being the equivalent of what the evil fat assistant robot in transformers 2 would shit. clumsy, ugly, didn't drive right, there were blind spots everywhere so i pissed off several people on the road. needless to say i abused the fucking thing. my point is that you should enjoy seeing a car and being inside of it. it should be an experience.

2. a cars power needs to match its owner. would martha stewart drive a koeniggsegg CCX? no. because that would be ridiculous. she would drive a prius and die in a horrible crash (there's a natural selection process occurring here). Take yourself for example. do you like driving fast? probably. but do you know HOW to drive fast? probably not. (i mean track speed. not 90 on the merritt). just because a stuffy businessman can afford to buy a ferrari, that doesnt mean he should. i heard a story of a guy who went into upstate CT to a track with his BRAND NEW ferrari f430. took like 2 laps, THEN realized that he had no idea how to work a manual and blew the engine. people like that should just go into the jungle and die. long story short, if you want a sweet car, make sure you know how to drive it. and im not exempt from this. i didn't deserve to have a mustang in my last 2 years of high school. was i excited? you bet. but it took a long time to learn how to drive the damn thing (and its an automatic..). lots of lessons learned that would have been easier to cope with in a 1990 honda accord.

3. when you see a car like the scion ix or whatever the hell its called (i call the whole group of those "box cars". for obvious reasons. honda element is another) please spit on it. there had to have been less than 3 days of actual design that went into making those cars. its obvious when carmakers dont care. hate them for it. don't be distracted by stuff like satellite navigation and cooled seats (though they are cool. HAHo). the primary objective is to decide whether or not any given car will represent you well if you drive it down the street and everyone on that street is looking at you and judging from what they see. does that happen? yes. at least i do it.

not all the best cars are expensive either. audi is a good example of beauty, power, etc. so is BMW. it just needs to be obvious that alot of thought went into making the car. in my opinion, american companies are just getting worse. there are some exceptions with muscle car models, but theyre dwindling. the dodge charger is a joke at this point. you can order a 4 door version. what they says to me is dodge telling me "okay well we'll SAY that were badass but then well make all our cars suck more." ford is just doing everything the same but swapping the grills out. yes, the recession has an effect. but thats all the more reason to move out of the country before emission standards throw all the good cars out.