years passed and i enjoyed gradeschool sometimes. there were ups and downs. the ups were times like whenever i did something that was frowned upon by any teacher. looking back i liken teachers (at least younger ones) to cops. they were beaten up as kids so they held a grudge their entire lives and decided to take it out on kids 30 years younger than they are for horrible experiences in their own past. and its a catholic private school so they have free reign to be dicks about it. but thats just me. the worse times occurred usually right before lunch when it took all my considerable skill and cunning to sneak potato chips from the bag in my pocket into my mouth when the math teachers back was turned. this turned into quite a regular event for me, and as a result all my friends counted on a chip or two in math class before lunch. recess was alright. i usually played wall ball with the guys or four square with the girls. which of course made me look gay because you never hang out with the girls in grade school unless youre talking about the manliest thing possible. such as dodgeball or who can climb the tree fastest.
summers came and went and i found myself in high school. the summer before freshman year i had a class at rcds for spanish. it felt kind of like school, but i could walk around without someone watching me. and i could go to the bathroom without asking. and i could wear what i wanted. and i had the ability to skip a class. it felt great. so i did all those things, maybe save for the skipping class part (there was only one class afterall). i think that was the beginning of my slightly "rebellious" phase. a phase that has never really ended, but i stopped being kind of a douche about it. anyway. high school started and within the first month i was completely behind in all my classes, grades sucked, mr kyle (the dean) basically hated me, my parents and advisor were breathing down my neck and i was on the cross country team. first things first, quit the cross country team. if not out of the need to get better grades, then out of principle. why i did that for almost 3 years in a row i have no idea. you basically....run. thats it. and its taken me until TODAY to get over that hate. ive just started running again. but now im not racing homoerotic men with short shorts through the woods so i can say i ran an 18 minute 5K. no, no. im running through sorority row with my shirt off. now thats better. i digress. so high school was a doozy for my first year. i picked up the pace by the end of the year. ended up with probably one A (choir..) alot of Bs and id imagine some C's. not too great. sophomore year was probably better than freshman year in that i kind of knew what to expect, but i still didnt really get "it". nothing really important happened sophomore year except for the pope dying, a shitload of terrorist attacks (according to wikipedia) and e-coli infested spinach. other than that nothing really. junior year rolls around and thats what i was dreading. okaay so the college process is right around the corner. so what. sooo... endless classes for SAT testing, i have to get good grades for applications, keep doing stuff outside of school. basically every horrible thing you can think of was packed into junior year. it basically sucked other than some remote good times with friends. having friends helps because you always have someone who is suffering with you. and talking about how much life sucks with a friend can only yield good results. one of which is a suicide buddy. nevertheless, junior year ended finally and it was off to the summer. the last 2 summers were basically me either taking classes or sitting around at home cuz i wasnt old enough for a job. well now i was and i wanted money. so i was ambitious, creative, disciplined, and good looking in the process to find a job. and you know where it landed me? as a camp counselor. yep. i was in charge of a group of like 18 young teenage boys. this is like ages 12 and 13. the age where you become the dick youre meant to be in life. except you havent learned that society doesnt like douchebags so it's completely uncensored. you don't listen, you do your own thing, you act like youre the bomb and everyone else should look up to you cuz youre the tallest person out of the group of campers. reality check: youre 13 years old, none of your body parts are in proportion, you still sound like an 8 year old, and youre being a jerk to just about everything and everyone you encounter. do expect that people will respect you? well you shouldnt. needless to say I didn't like being a camp counsellor. though i had some friends to do it with, so i always had a suicide buddy. BUT. i had a backup plan. i had been applying (before i worked at the camp) for a job at a local clothing store that will remain nameless for the sake of my dignity. long story short i got the job and it was much better in every aspect. people were nice, i enjoyed the air conditioning, they even let me dress up as a giant pink whale. not a fact that i enjoyed at the time but a great story now. now that you probably know where i worked, shut the fuck up.
senior year rolled around and i was so pumped. all i ever heard about it was partying, going out all the time, forgetting about school, etc. etc. wrong. you still have to work your ass off for the first semester AT LEAST. that wasnt so bad though. the testing was over and i could rest my head. for the next couple months it was basically same old story, except we were seniors so life was that more awesome. once second semester rolled around, however, things were different. whether or not people still needed to keep grades up, we still went out. because all those awesome things we heard about seinor year would have gone down the drain if we just kept working and working. so we stopped working. correct choice my friends. so it was basically everything we heard about- parties, staying up late, parents dont really care, etc etc. college admissions rolled around and i admit i was pretty happy with the results. i cant remember what they were but i did have options (still pretty bummed about the upenn rejection tho.) regardless, i loved IU and decided to go there. fastforward through an awesome summer lifeguarding, chilling with friends, goodbyes, etc. that would take too long to reminisce about (although thats the point of an autobiography)
COLLEGE started. woot. let me begin by saying that it was more awesome than i thought it would be. i felt no homesickness because i had just been exiting from one of those "i have to get out of this place" phases. so it was good timing and once we all said goodbye, i was on my own. first thing i did was buy a giant stereo. that was awesome. second thing i did was buy a shitload of food. that was also awesome. third thing i did was go out and party. that was ALSO awesome. then the classes came. i did well but we wont talk about that cuz its boring and vain. so it was time for thanksgiving and all i wanted to do was go home. the whole "im on my own" thing was great but it fades once youve been eating nothing but fried chicken for weeks straight and you have to shower in basically a bathroom stall. but i couldnt go home. noo. spent the break in cincinnatti with my mom's side. it was fun. but still. so christmas break arrives, ends, school starts again, same old story. except now im taking more credits and life is quickly getting more daunting. i decide i have to drop choir. very depressing. very difficult. seeing that id been in choir every year since like 6th grade, it had been a part of my life. so it sucked. on the plus side, however, the ratio of sexually suggestive glances i received from guys versus girls diminished rapidly. it lightens up the atmosphere a bit. and yeah. im saying gays make me uncomfortable. at least in close proximity. if im sitting next to a guy and hes obviously flamingly gay, i can't concentrate on anything other than where he's sitting relative to me and how i would avoid giving any single hint of encouragement to his potential "glances" if you will. i was in a cafe down the street and this kind of fat barista is wearing a tight t shirt with a fur-lined hoodie. gaydar goes off. i still need coffee. so i give him the money and as he gives me change and im STILL making a conscious effort to avoid his gaze and just fill my fucking mug, he CUPS my hand in his and puts the coins in my hand. i just left. i just......left. THIS IS WHAT I TRY TO AVOID. WTFUCKING FUCK. this is a memory ive tried to suppress. why im talking about it i have no idea. lets move on.
well its second semester now and thats what i was gonna write about. classes are better and i hate only one of my teachers and its not cuz im doing badly. its cuz shes a complete idiot. im a firm believer in just sucking it up when you get a crappy teacher because 99 times out of 100 theyre great at what they do, you just have to get inside their heads. once you do that and know how to do it, youre set. but ive tried. and this woman is just so dimwitted, slow, boring, inconsistent, messy, unprepared, that i just want to leave the class after 30 second of her talking. i cant get inside her head because shes just SO dimwitted. but anyway.
thats my life story. i would have put my worst days ever, and i do remember them, but i probably would have called a suicide buddy. i can remember best days ever, but thats another post. enjoy, and go do something useful with your time now. i know i wont... seeing as i just wrote about my life story at 2 in the morning.
nothing exciting happened sophomore year??? i resent that, daniel joseph. you had the extreme pleasure of being introduced to me during sophomore year. aka the most important moment of you life, duh
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