politics and...sugar ray...

a list of services that would be useful in the economic downturn:
1.debt solution center destruction services (waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too many commercials on the radio. if you havent heard.)
2. CEO-mart
3. suicide booths
4. a bank that doesnt declare bankruptcy
5. dumb executive slapping booths

so i was thinking... with this new health care plan scheduling our deaths, can we opt for an exciting way to die? like government hired assassins or my parachute just happening to be gone when I jump out of a plane? something exciting.. they could build a hollywood set where youre given any type of gun you want and you have a partner whos also gonna die so you both go into this set and people (hah..senators..hows that for subliminal) start shooting at you and you go out fighting (that part wasnt meant to be subliminal). itd be so much more exciting than dying in a hospital bed.

no but yeah the health care plan is a pretty good idea
for the most part
as long as it doesnt screw me over
lol so i guess itll be a bad idea in the end cuz i dont think the government is ever gonna come out with legislation thats not gonna screw me over til im about 65. then ill get a check in the mail. unless they scrap that idea too.

north korea is a bitch.
hugo chavez is a douche.
russia is still coming out with cool techno.
yayy world


IN OTHER NEWS

apparantly britney spears is hot again
aah whoaa ooh ahh
so this concert series in stamford called alive at five is supposed to be cool right? wrong. jack and i went there at 7:30 on a saturday night and they wouldnt let us in...wtf.. they close the thing to people under 21 after 7:00. because, you know, underage kids wait until after 7:00 to drink and smoke. its not like they have stuff outside of the concert. no way. they just CANT let them in I hate stamford special services I HATE THEM SO MUCHhhhhhh. it was sugar ray too. damn.
hold me
so jack and i went to dairy queen. like we do when were bored. i had a small chocolate cone with chocolate sprinkes (my usual) and he got a lemon lime slushy. hows that for an exciting night

apparantly britney spears is ugly again

fears for college

so im gonna build a list of things im worried about in college cuz there have been a few things ive began to worry about and i just want to get them out there for therapeutic reasons. i hear that if you express your fears, the next step is just facing them like a man. so as much as this is hard to do, i'm going to write down everything that has me scared regarding my first year in college. here it goes:

1. that im not gonna have room for my ps3 and the screen on my desk. this WILL be traumatizing
2. that im gonna sleeptalk and sleepwalk the first night in my dorm and scare the shit out of my roommate
3. that i'll run my food plan credits dry and starve. this IS the middle of indiana here. how many pizza delivery services do you think they have
4. that i'll never wake up (not die, just keep sleeping because nobody cares enough to wake me up) and i figure alarm clocks will annoy my roommate so i just wont put him (or her...please....please god...) through it
5. that my roommate goes to bed before 1
6. that anyone in my building is opposed to loud music
7. that the internet is slow

if you guys have any to add, trust me, it helps to get it out there..

so

so. its the middle of summer. everyones getting ready to leave for school and our brains are, naturally, rotting. what better time to take a calculus placement exam?
indiana u has wittingly decided to give me one in the middle of july during my orientation. at 7:30 in the morning no less. so what the hell am i going to do for the two weeks on vacation preceding said orientation? im going to be......drumrollllllll......... golfing, eating delicious seafood, and enjoying beautiful women walking down the beach. guess whos at the end of the beach.......
so far summers had its ups and downs. weve had some vacations, theyve been amazing, but then there's been work. and while it might not sound so difficult to sit in a chair, in the sun, watching women from behind (the worlds most underrated invention) mirrored sunglasses, and yelling at kids all day, its not just a walk in the park. the sun does drain you and im exhausted after multiple weeks of working. although time and a half on the fourth of july did raise my spirits.
so on to another topic. i realize that were no longer seniors and i can't go to the movie theater and demand discounted tickets, and this IS second semester seniors. but i really dont care. so as long as jack (and jj if he still even visits this site lol) wants to, ill keep writing. so

signing off for now. cuz were off for another vacation. in exactlyyyy 31 minutes. cuz my dad wanted to leave at midnight. five hours ago. now theyre still rushing around the house and i seriously doubt that were gonna leave for like 3 hours. but i havent started packing so i shuld get on that. lol

Mad World

royal cow

so i want to start a rock band
except i can't play any instruments and i can't sing
so i think most of the music will be made with a cowbell and royalty free sound effects found online
i'll call the band "royal cow"
i'll do one of those sick cross country tours
just me and my cowbell
and maybe dan and jj can come along if they learn a similar instrument. nothing that requires musical talent, though. that goes against royal cow's philosophy.
oo we could perform for the queen of england at a farm to be super cliche (and ironic? maybe?)
regardless, RC (that's insider lingo for "royal cow", for you outsiders) will probably be bigger than the beatles and justin timberlake combined in a few years. it just takes a few lucky singles.
the first one will be called "there's some funk in your chest." a soft, placid balled describing the flowering love a young lad has for a young lass, this insta-classic tune will transport you to your golden years and bring tears to your leathery, old eyes, you stupid old person trying to be hip by listening to new music wtf is wrong with you just listen to frank sinatra and stop trying to be someone you're not just accept you're old!!!
the second single will be a bland pop song aimed at 13 year old girls and their lame-ass batmitzvah soundtracks
after that it's easy street...the millions will roll in, the incredibly hot, dumb chicks will flock to me like water does to lower elevated areas and i'll be regarded as more classic than the beatles and justin timberlake combined.

this plan is genius

btw, i was going to include a music video for one of the songs but my camera is out of batteries and i can't find the charger. i called dan and even he didn't know where it was. now i'm sad because i have no idea where it is at all so i'll save that mouthwatering video for next time.

qwertyFRIBS

so we're all in agreement that the school year is over. except for the sucky part that we have to get up early to do essentially nothing. as ben folds states, bitches aint shit. i think he means that even though life may be a bitch and make you worry about whats happening, you should just forget all your troubles. as timone states, when the world turns its back on you, YOU TURN YOUR BACK ON THE WORLD. ok moral sessions from dan are over.
so i kind of was hoping to have this summer free but im actually gonna be working alot. and i have to tell w that im quitting (for those of u who dont know, w is vineyard vines. vv. w. get it) cuz their hours suck and lifeguarding is sitting in a chair getting my tan. if i have to save anyone tho im quitting on the spot and letting someone else deal with it.
hes drowning! save him! "I QUIT!" please, he's my son!! he can't swim! "well maybe you shouldnt have taken him to a BEACH CLUB. ITS YOUR FAULT HES DROWNING AND HIS DEATH WILL FOREVER BE ON YOUR CONSCIENCE" please! please! (at this point my boss comes out) DAN! SAVE THE KID! "NO! i dont WANNA! ill get WET!" you're a lifeguard! (meanwhile the kid is unconscious) please help my son! you horrible person! DAN! GET IN THE WATER! "ITS WET AND I JUST PUT ON MY SUNSCREEN THERE HAS TO BE A TEN MINUTE DRY PERIOD BEFORE I GET WET OR THE SUNSCREEN WILL COME OFF AND ILL BURN!" DAN YOU NEED TO GET IN THE WATER AND SAVE THAT BOY!!!!! "NO! I QUIT! but im staying on the beach."

when life gives you lemons, you squeeze the juice into its eyes and make lemonade from its tears.
basically make a good situation as bad as it can get. well i guess you can always rape life but that might backfire somehow

so we performed a tenacious d song today (wonderboy) and all in all it could have gone worse. wasn't bad, but eugene's cord was frayed so his solo cut out and i kicked out all the plugs midsong. lol. oops. apparantly ppl liked it tho so thats good. prob the most fun ive had on stage it was awesome. and the last words at my last morning meeting that i said in front of the whole school were sexual (wonderboy's mighty juice isnt OJ). time for the showah. ill see u guys latah. maybe in an ele.....bye

friday night

so jack and i were really bored on friday night. for 3 hours after school we basically sat on a couch with andrew. and talked?

so andrew left and jack and i just sat there some more trying to think of things to do, and after google searching events and finding nothing but breast cancer awareness events and yoga classes across westchester, we decided to just get in the car.

we ended up at Home Depot, where we decided to find the coolest thing in the store and buy it if its reasonably priced. we successfully convinced everyone working there that we were high by becoming really interested in deck wood composite and safety glasses. i also yelled something about a blunt which made some lady give me the most obnoxious look ever. so we continued into the outdoor department where we walked through the shrubs and debated over the price of a ten foot tree using 3 foot pines as comparisons. which didnt help our image.
upon coming back inside we went through the vaccuum section and jack and i, in our infinite weirdness, both saw the word "HUSKY" on the side of the vaccuum. and, of course, we both loudly proclaim "HUSKY!" in throaty and croaky voices. at the same time. that was bad.
we finally got into the power tool section where there were big blades and cool machines. that was fun. but i guess wed attracted some attention cuz a guy was creepily following us. jack mentioned that he could easily open up the slim jim pack that he found, eat it, and leave the wrapper without anyone knowing. all of a sudden we noticed all the cameras home depot has.
so somewhere along this adventure wed wasted an hour and a half. but we found a blowtorch that has a bendy neck. and it was CHEAP so we bought it and played with it while eating slim jims in my car in the parking lot of home depot.

we wer then bored and went to the mall but it was closed and we were disappointed so we went to dairy queen but the line was sooooo long so we drove around stamford for a few minutes. then we passed california pizza kitchen and it HIT ME. we could GO THERE. so we did. our server's name was jason. he was a very nice man and i asked him if i could have a virgin margarita. cuz regular margaritas are awesome but i cant have one so w/e ill have a virgin one. less kick, whatever. he doesnt know if its possible but we talk about them for about a minute and a half and i decide its not worth the effort. but hes like "nono ill see what i can do" and im like "ill just have a root beer" but he insists so im like ok whatever. then jack and i have a conversation about how smart he is. im not going into that. basically he could charge me for 2 drinks. and the margaritas are 8 bucks. but THERS NO ALCOHOL IN IT. shit be crazay. aneeway we get our BLT pizza with honey-wheat dough and he comes with this cup with basically ice and margarita mix. i thank him and we exchange a few laughs, have a moment, and he leaves. i drink ITS SO GOOD i decide to just go to the supermarket and buy margarita mix and drink it straight. its like as jack said- "the awesomeness of both lemons and limes together in one drink". couldnt have said it bettIVE WRITTEN SO MUCH WTF HAVE I DONE WITH THE LAST 20 MINUTES

im leaving now. cuz i have somewhat of a life.

profound thoughts

thoughts of a second semester senior TAKE TWO IF YOU WILL

wtf do i do with my time